One of the biggest fears I have for my kids is around surviving their school-aged years. Being a girl is hard and there are so many pressures put on us by society and celebrity and media and, more importantly, each other.

I remember the pressure I put on myself to look a certain way. I was hard on myself. I didn’t have clear skin, or perfect hair. I was never that skinny girl; I was the girl with the big boobs. Period. Nobody saw anything else but that. Not the girls, certainly not the boys and sometimes not even the teachers.

That was my label.

I think I still spend days trying to shake it off.

I have irrational fears about what my girls will be labeled with. How it will affect them and how it will stay with them long after high school is over. And they are only three and six years old.

I try to instill in them that they should be kind to everyone. That somebody’s looks, ability and skin colour don’t matter. It’s what’s inside that counts the most. And I firmly believe that.

Aside from a label I do my best to forget about, I am a confident person. I like me. I like who I have become. And while I don’t think I’m perfect, I think I’m good where I am in my life. I am not afraid to speak my mind, swim against the stream and stand for what I believe in. I believe that my hard work and determination speaks for itself.

But I watch as my girls are exposed to more influence. The media, magazines and music videos all show perfection. Or rather, what is considered perfection? It is hard to escape it. I wonder if it’s affecting their image of what and how girls should look?

Yes, I can make my kids live in a bubble; not allowing them to watch TV, or YouTube videos, hiding my magazines so they can’t look through them, but that’s not realistic. They need to start learning what is real and what isn’t. That girls really don’t look like that.

“Is that real, mommy?”

That is a question I get all the time, because I constantly tell them that the girl in the video isn’t real, or the one on television doesn’t look like that in real life. They have people who help them with their hair and make-up. People who pick out their clothes and that everyday people don’t look like that. Perfection isn’t reality. And I don’t want my kids striving for the impossible. At least not one that revolves around their looks.

The other day I saw this video online that I had to share.

Colbie Caillat’s Try is a song with beautiful message. The video, which she made as a response to being airbrushed, is equally great. It puts forth the question of what beauty really is as each woman takes off her makeup to reveal her true self. The lyrics are poignant and raw and it left me feeling positive.

This is a simple, optimistic affirmation that true beauty isn’t dependent upon hair extensions, fake eyelashes and make up. It is a message that supports true happiness, self-worth and a positive self-image. Something I hope both my little girls grow up having.

I know that I’ve stopped including the lyrics on my Music Monday posts, but these need to be read. I also know it’s not Monday, but this is worth sharing. And this is one video I will be playing for my kids over and over again.

 

Try

By: Colbie Caillat

 

Oooh
Oooh

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try

Oooh
Oooh

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards
You don’t have to choose, buy it all, so they like you
Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try

Noooo
Oooh

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you