This week seems to have a theme that I didn’t anticipate.
Reminding yourself that you are worth it, pretty, deserving and amazing is of the utmost importance. It’s something we have to do every day.
As women, we have to stop judging each other. We have to stop the inner dialogue of hate and poisonous words that break us.
I think this week’s theme is not a coincidence. It’s a message to myself; although it started out as a message to my girls.
I’m a mom who struggles with loving herself sometimes. A wife who really does believe that my husband loves me the way I am – the size I am. But I always have this little voice saying my life would be better if I lost a few pounds.
My heart knows that isn’t true.
It’s my head that doesn’t believe it sometimes.
I recently made the decision to go see a nutritionist again. I say again, because I saw her over four years ago, lost 30 pounds and then got pregnant with the Little Mouse.
I’m on the cusp of 41. I’m overweight. I need help to get healthy.
I’m not looking to get skinny. I’m looking to get healthy and whatever that means for my body.
I have two young girls who have started to notice different types of bodies. Two girls who I can tell are starting to think makeup makes you pretty and long hair is a definition of beauty. Two girls who are watching me all the time.
It’s time to make a change.
So here we go! One step at a time and one healthy choice at a time, I’m doing this. I’m showing them that making good choices will have a lasting impact.
I didn’t know that I would share this on my blog. I was afraid to.
What if I fail?
But as usual, as I write, sometimes my thoughts take me in a direction I didn’t expect to go. And so here we are. I’m not hitting backspace. I’m moving forward.
I’m finding a way to love myself the way D loves me. I’m finding a way to be healthy, set a positive example to my girls. I’m finding a way to look into my soul and appreciate my accomplishments, my contributions and my inner beauty.
One of my friends shared this video on Facebook and as I watched it, my eyes welled up with tears. Wonderfully Made is a poem from artist Khari Toure. I will admit I’ve never heard of him before, so I did a little digging. He is a spoken word artist and poet who is known for pieces about love and beauty. Specifically, the beauty of plus-sized women. It is something like I’ve never heard before. And I had to share it with you.
Whatever size you are; whatever reflection you see in the mirror; whatever the number on the scale I beg you to love yourself. Remind yourself to stop judging.
Everyone is made differently.
But we are all made from love.