Lifetime friend

What do you get when you cross two young girls, who have opposite tastes in everything from boys to music, but who find common ground in their wacky sense of humour, love of nail polish, note passing and all things sparkly? A friendship like no other!

Shar is one of my best friends and has been for the past twenty-eight years. Sure, we’ve had our bumps in the road, but in the end, I know she’s always there for me, and I hope she knows the same of me.

Random pics from grade 8 & high school

We met in grade 8, when she was new to the school I just started two years earlier. She dressed different than I did, mostly in black, but loved to read and write and we quickly connected. We banked endless hours hanging out at each other’s houses, listening to music, talking about boys and laughing.

In high school, not much changed. She introduced me to Doc Martins, and I introduced her to Debbie Gibson! There were many times where we ventured downtown, to go shopping on Queen Street and I loved the adventures! She was definitely braver than I was, although I was happy to go along for the ride.

Random pics from high school and prom.

After high school, as she went to master dental hygiene, I went off to Humber College. The weekends were made for the clubs and we had many adventures and memorable nights, including the time she bought lemon gin, proceeded to lose all my ID and get us kicked out of a club, which resulted in me having to call my parents to pick us up! I’m sure she only remembers what I’ve said about that night, but I can laugh about it now.

It wasn’t so funny at the time.

Random pics of nights out with the girls, on our way to the clubs and in Montreal for New Year’s Eve.

There was a period of time (four years, I think) where we didn’t speak and ended up missing out on a lot of each other’s life. But then one day my mom called to say I got a wedding invitation in the mail. She was getting married!

I called her and was happy to reconnect. While we fell quickly into our old routine, I hated myself a bit for not being around for so long. She understood why and we’ve put that behind us.

She’s a letter writer from way back, so I’m grateful that she thought of our friendship enough to reach out to me, to invite me to her wedding and to move forward. I still have many of the letters she’s sent me over the years and cherish each one.

I have been there for the struggles and the laughs, for the birth of her two beautiful kids and for her amicable divorce. She is so strong and brave, never backing down and always standing up for what she believes in.

Shar is a survivor! When she told us the news that she had thyroid cancer, she didn’t bat an eyelash when she said she would beat it. I remember talking to her after her radiation treatment, as she was “sweating it out” while walking around downtown Toronto.

She doesn’t take anything for granted, and lives each moment to the fullest. Always wanting the best for everyone, I am so happy that she could be a part of my wedding day! It meant so much to have her there.

She’s been there for all of the big moments in my life; including the birth of my two kids and she always has words of encouragement and good advice to share.

Pics from our thirties, including girls nights out and my Shar and my bridesmaids.

We used to joke when we were younger that she was a true Gemini, hot and cold with her moods, sometimes shifting with the wind, often it depended on the personalities that were clashing with her patience. But as I write that, it’s one of the quirks that make me love her more.

We’ve club hopped, danced on tables, cruised the Mediterranean sea and survived New Year’s Eve in Montreal together. We’ve supported each other through high school crushes, friendships gone bad and bad fashion choices. I remember being in a change room beside her, trying on clothes and both of us would leave empty handed, because neither of us could find our size (where were on opposite ends of the scale).

A generous spirit, she’s always doing little things to show her love, whether it’s a note, a lip gloss or favourite dessert, she has this knack of knowing what you like and surprising you with it. She does the same thing to my kids, and surprises them, which is no wonder why they love her.

She’s a wonderful mother, and that is reflected in her kids, both of who are polite and patient and a role model for my kids. My kids love them too, and often ask to go over to play with them, even though they are quite older.

Shar, Shar & DK

She’s been through a lot, and I can honestly say that I’m so proud of her. While I may always be weary of anyone new in her life, I’m happy to see that she is in a good place. She’s met an amazing man, who makes her million dollar smile shine and fills her heart. She deserves no less than that every single day.

Shar is truly are one-of-a-kind. Her friendship means the world to me, as does her generous heart and wacked sense of humour. I am grateful we are where we are today both in our lives and in our friendship. There are too many memories to speak of, and know that I am so happy that we didn’t grow up in the age of cell phones and Facebook, so those memories will remain just that! While we didn’t always have a camera to capture the good times, know that I cherish the annual Christmas sleepovers, our trips to the Reference Library, prom, LA Hollywood and Paparazzi, London (Ontario), Montreal, and Portugal. I am grateful she knows me the way that she does, calls me on my bullsh!t, and loves me despite my imperfections.

She’s the type of friend that is already in the battle, with her dukes up. Even if she doesn’t know what the battle is about, she’s there to support me. I hope she knows that I would do the same, no matter what.

I wish you a wonderful birthday and hope all your dreams come true!

Love you lots, my friend.

3 responses to “Lifetime friend”

  1. Beautiful reflection about a beautiful woman, by another beautiful woman. Both of you are beautiful from the inside out! Love the pics and the memories. Thanks for sharing so openly!


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