La Vida Es un Carnaval


So this next birthday is sort of a big deal. It isn’t the BIG ONE just yet, but we are THISCLOSE. I am a true believer that age really is just a number, but with that 4-0 looming just over 365-ish days away, I can’t help but think that my last year of my thirties are kind of a big deal.

A lot has happened in my life over the past ten years, including meeting my husband, having my beautiful girls, becoming a home owner and really, just growing up. It’s sort of crazy to think where I was ten years ago, versus today.

If I could go back to that 29 year old, I’d tell her not to worry. Things will happen, love will come, forgive yourself, and keep your head up. Your true friends will be there for you, some will go away and some will actually come back.

Ten years ago, on my 29th birthday, I woke up in Varadero, Cuba. I had a blast during those two weeks of vacation, with three crazy friends. Even now, hearing the song La Vida Es un Carnaval by Celia Cruz, puts me in the mood for a piña colada! Even though that song made me happy, I still wondered, as 30 was looming, if I would find true love. I wondered if I would be stuck in my job, that I didn’t like, and if I would once again leave home, after just recently returning from a living with friends.

When I got home from that trip, I decided to go back to school. I signed up for classes at York University, to try to earn my B.A. in Communications, and classes started that September. I reflected a lot on the regret I had for how and why I no longer spoke to my roommates, but I knew that I had to move on and put it behind me. I figured out a way to cope with the fact that my best friend, who had moved to the States on a volleyball scholarship, and I couldn’t just talk to her whenever I wanted to. I had to figure out a way to live with my parents again, which wasn’t THAT hard, but after being out for a year answering questions again, took some getting used to. And I had to figure out what it meant to be 30…as that milestone was quickly approaching.

The snowball began in January of 2004. On a “it’s not a date” night out with a friend, I met my husband. On April Fools day, the day after a major exam at school, I got let go from my job (the one I hated). Days later, I turned 30. I was unemployed and 30, but my guy was right by my side the whole time. By May, I took a contract job downtown and decided school had to wait. I just couldn’t take the chance of paying for school, when I didn’t know if I’d have a job in three months. So, not to bore you with the details, but that contract job turned into a full-time position, a job that I liked. I was engaged by November that year and although my best friend was still away, she was returning soon.

In the last eight-ish years, a lot has happened. Besides the above, a few old friends have come back into my life, including one of the said roommates, among others who became my bridesmaids. Some friends have gone away too. People really do come in and out of your life for various reasons, whether for my needs or theirs, and sometimes when the purpose has been served, you move on. I have love for them all…I really do. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, and if it’s meant to be, it will be.

I believe that in every aspect of life. I wasn’t meant to meet my husband earlier, nor have my kids in my twenties. I was meant to have the friends I have and the job I’m in. I guess that’s the way God works. He’s not so mysterious really. And it’s as Doris Day once sang, Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. And there is nothing you can do to change it.

So while I wonder what the next ten years will bring, I know that I am secure in who I am, surrounded by my good friends and the family I love more than anything. La Vida Es un Carnaval – life really is a carnival. So I’m going to sit back and enjoy the ride, regardless of how many candles are on my cake!

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