An ode to my thirties


In a few days, I have to say goodbye to my thirties. It’s time to start a new chapter in my life, and I can’t help but have a feeling of uncertainty about it. Sure, people say it’s the best time of their life. And sure they say that “life begins at forty”. But how can I be so sure?

These are the moments where you have to close your eyes and trust it’ll all work out. It’s not like I have a choice. It is what it is, right?!

{sigh}

No matter what I feel, it’s happening. So I thought I’d take a minute to look back on my thirties.

I started it out unemployed. I was newly laid off and unsure of my future. I had a new boyfriend, and although we had only been dating less than three months, I knew he was the one! My best friend was away at school and I had recently just moved back home with my parents.

I’d say it was a pretty rough time, but then things started looking up; I landed a job, taking a chance on a 3-month contract that eventually turned to full-time employment. I had some good people in my life and things were going well in my relationship. By the end of that year, D and I were engaged.

I married my soul mate a year later and he opened my eyes to the true meaning of love and importance of saving and finances. We bought a house three years later and had our Little Bird. We renovated 90% of that house – and are still married. (That’s an accomplishment!)

I got laid off again (yes, again!) and fought hard to find the job I’m in now. I learned about my determination and confidence during that job search and while it was a difficult time, I wouldn’t change it.

A couple years later we had the Little Mouse.

I’ve been schooled a time or two by these two little girls and they certainly give me a run for my money, but I love it. I love them! And while the thought of the teen years scare the life out me, I’m ready for it.

I’ve seen a bit of the world in the past 10 years, including Cuba, Orlando, Portugal, New York and San Diego and loved each and every one of those trips.

I’ve had to let go of some friends in my life, for various reasons, but treasure the usual suspects in my life. These girls have been there for me and I count on them, even if it’s just a coffee once in a while, because our lives have all evolved and we have our own things going on. They are my friends and I love them.

I’ve seen my parents evolve and our relationship change. They have both prospered and struggled at different times, and over different things, but watching how they handle the difficult times, has helped me learn how to be a better daughter and friend to both of them.

I had to let go of my scrapbooking business, but still maintain my love of everything creative. Even if it’s just once every other month, being able to have an outlet to be creative is so rejuvenating.

I enrolled in courses again, mainly for work, but mostly for me. I love it and while I may have to get creative with juggling my priorities, I’m making it work and proving to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to.

I found writing again and I started this blog. While it took a while to get revved up, once it got going, I haven’t looked back. I’m not afraid to put myself out there, speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in. I’m not afraid to take a chance. I’m starting to see the fruits of my labour and I’m proud of myself.

I think the only thing I wish was different, was not the number on the cake, but the number on the scale. I imagined that I would look different at this time of my life. I can’t even tell you why I thought that, but it’s something I struggle with. And while I am a confident person at any size, for some reason I think I wanted my reflection to look a little different at forty.

This is something I need to work on, for myself and for my girls. I see those commercials and they scare me; I want to be there for my kids in the future and I want to be a good role model. So I need to make some changes to my lifestyle.

Aside from that, as I look back, I can’t help but smile as life has been good to me. I can’t help but feel happy, as it’s all here in black and white! Everything that I have done has led me to where I am today. And as I look ahead, this number is ahead of me. Like, right in front of me.

Okay, let’s do this! I have a solid foundation built with the accomplishments of my past and the love and support of my family and friends. How bad can it be?!

Regardless of what the next 10 years hold, I’m ready. My feet are firmly planted on the ground, my eyes are wide open and I’m not afraid to be who I am. I will always love with my whole heart, speak my mind and stand for what I believe in. I will not tolerate bullshit or standby when somebody is being taken advantage of. I will defend what’s right and preserve what is good, for all those in my life. I will never lie to further myself, cheat to get ahead or steal somebody else’s idea. And I will never compromise myself. I am who I am and that will never change.

No matter how old I am.

4 thoughts on “An ode to my thirties

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